My Esteemed M. ______:
It is my sincere wish that this missive finds you and your family in good health and pleasant mien. Please send news of your family. How are affairs at the University? Has Dr. _____ made any interesting progress regarding those chemical reactions that so intrigued him?
I fear that I have no exciting news for you. I find myself again in Expeditious Retreat. However, I do not believe my business here will generate such stories of adventure and daring as the last.
I remain, as always, your humble servant, and hope to hear from you soon.